“Day 112: Both girls cried when I left the room. I wanted to cry too. But Carol said I needed to teach them resilience. I bit the inside of my lip until it bled.”
“Day 345: The therapist said that I’m making progress at telling my truth. Carol came to the session. She didn’t allow me to go alone. She said that the therapist was horrible… and canceled next week’s session.”
“Day 586: I miss being someone. Not just their mother and not just his wife. I miss being me.”
It was full of devastating truths.
The following day, I took the girls to the park, then straight to a family lawyer.
By lunch, my mother was removed from school pickup, the forged paperwork was flagged, and a formal notice was drafted: no contact with my wife, and no access to my children.
That night, I sat on the edge of the bed and called her.
I sat there staring at my screen before I hit call.
No access to my children.
Jyll picked up after two rings.
“Zach,” she whispered.
I breathed in. “I’m so sorry, my love. I didn’t see it, Jyll. I thought you were overwhelmed from the girls, and from my mother being… herself. I didn’t realize that it was more. I should’ve.”
There was a pause.
Jyll picked up after two rings.
“I know,” she said softly. “You tried. But you didn’t know how.”
“I tried to keep her out of things. I thought it helped.”
“You were protecting me, Zach. But you were protecting me from the wrong things.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see it.
“I’m going to fix it. That custody file is in my lawyer’s hands now. And Mom is done. She’s not coming into our house, and she’s not picking up our girls — ever.”
“Zach…”
“I should have chosen you,” I said. “I didn’t know I had to. But I do now.”
“You did, hon. Just… a little late.”
Jyll was quiet after that.
“I want you to come home to us, Jyll. Please.”
“I know,” she said, and her voice cracked. “But I can’t. Not yet. I need to get back to myself first. I want to come back… as a better version of me. Not as the shell I was.”
“But I can’t. Not yet.”
“We’ll wait for you, Jyll,” I promised.
“You’re a good dad,” she added. “And thank you for choosing our girls. And for choosing me, even now.”
“I’ll keep choosing you.”
***
Three days later, a package arrived with no return address. Inside: two sets of velvet scrunchies, two sets of crayons, and a selfie of Jyll sitting at the beach, smiling.
Three days later, a package arrived.
“Thank you for seeing me, Zach. I’ll send things to the girls whenever I can. I’m trying my hardest. I hope I can come home soon.
— J.”
I folded the note and whispered my wife’s name like a promise.
This time, I’d be the one waiting at home — porch light on.
“I hope I’ll be home to you soon.”
