***
He’d lost both legs above the knee in an explosion on a U.S. military base. When he does, he just says, “I made it back.” He sometimes wears prosthetics, but mostly uses a wheelchair.
Rowan is strong and impossibly stubborn. He never lets anyone help unless he absolutely has to.
My parents tried to be supportive. My mom, Gina, never fully hid her doubts. The night before our wedding, as I stood at her kitchen counter picking invisible lint from my wedding dress, she lingered in the doorway.
“Think carefully, Mikayla. You won’t even have a proper wedding dance. Is that how you want to start your marriage?”
Rowan is strong and impossibly stubborn.
I tried to laugh it off, but it stuck to me. “I want a marriage, Mom. Not a dance or performance.”
She looked away, fiddling with her necklace. “I just worry you haven’t thought this through.”
But I had.
I thought about Rowan every night, and how he made my world feel bigger, not smaller. Never with pity, always with curiosity and kindness.
One night before the wedding, Rowan caught me tracing the edge of my veil in the bedroom.
“Second thoughts?” he teased, rolling up to me.
“I want a marriage, Mom.”
I shook my head, smiling. “Not unless you’ve decided to leave the toothpaste cap off forever.”
He reached for my hand and laughed.
***
The day of the wedding was a beautiful blur, lace, nerves, and rain on the church steps. I caught Rowan’s eye at the end of the aisle and instantly relaxed.
His medals shone against his uniform, but his smile was all for me.
At the altar, he wheeled himself right to my side and took my hands.
The officiant smiled at us both. “Rowan, you may now stand, if you want!”
His medals shone against his uniform.
Everyone laughed, including Rowan. He squeezed my hand until my fingers tingled. “I’m good right here,” he said, winking.
Our vows were messy and honest. Rowan promised coffee every morning. I promised to love him fiercely, and he whispered, “You already do.”
I caught Mom watching, her face hard to read.
Rowan raised his glass of cider. “To new beginnings, Mik,” he said, looking right at me.
We’d decided to delay our wedding reception for a little while. I didn’t want Rowan to overdo it, and I had been nervous about bringing up the first dance.
Our vows were messy and honest.
***
For days afterward, life glowed, slightly burnt pancakes for breakfast, and movie nights with our arms tangled together.
I’d catch him flexing his hands, lost in thought.
But about a week after the wedding, something changed.
***
Rowan started waking before me, closing the door to his office. He was distracted at dinner, his jokes half-hearted. He barely touched his guitar, which he usually played every night, something gentle and bluesy.
At first, I tried to let it go.
I’d catch him flexing his hands, lost in thought.
“It’s going to take a moment for us to adjust to this life,” I said to myself. “Maybe he just needs a little space.”
***
One night, I climbed into bed and reached for his hand. He flinched, like he’d been shocked.
“Sorry, Mik. I’m just really tired.”
But he was lying, I knew it in my bones. I knew the shape of my husband’s fatigue, and this wasn’t it.
***
A few days later, he started locking our bedroom door in the afternoons. Once, I knocked to ask if he wanted lunch, and he snapped. “I’m fine, Mikayla. Please, just… not now.”
If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that my husband never snapped at me. And he never locked doors.
“Maybe he just needs a little space.”
I started to wonder if he regretted marrying me. If my mother had been right, and if this was all just too much for him.
My own doubt crept in, a whisper that grew louder with each day.
***
One afternoon, my phone rang. Mom’s name lit up the screen.
“I made too much baked ziti. Want me to swing by with some?”
I hesitated, looking at the clock. “Sure, Mom. That’d be nice. Rowan should be home, too.”
She sounded pleased. “Good. I’ll bring those cookies you like too.”
Mom’s name lit up the screen.
That day, I left work early and beat her home. The apartment felt still, no music, no TV, not even the sound of Rowan’s wheels gliding across the hardwood. I set the groceries on the counter, listening.
Then I heard a heavy thud from down the hall. And a dragging noise.
Then another thud, sharper this time, followed by quick breathing, like someone was running a marathon on the spot.
My skin prickled.
“Rowan?” I called, heart in my throat. “Honey?”
Silence.
I heard a heavy thud from down the hall.
I crept closer, groceries forgotten. “Rowan, are you alright?”
There was a pause. Then, from behind the bedroom door: “I’m fine, Mik. Don’t come in.”
The door was locked.
I kept knocking. “Rowan, open up, please. You sound hurt.”
He replied, but his words were clipped and breathless. “Just, just a minute, babe. I said I’m fine.”
I pressed my forehead to the door, trying to listen. I could hear him fumbling, dragging, and cursing softly under his breath.
“Rowan, open up, please. You sound hurt.”
“Rowan, I’m serious. I’m coming in,” I warned, searching for the emergency key in the hall drawer. My hands fumbled as I unlocked the door.
Just then, I heard the front door swing open, Mom’s heels clicking on the tile.
“Mikayla? I brought the ziti! Is Rowan… wait, what’s happening?”
I didn’t answer. I threw open the bedroom door. Mom followed, casserole dish in hand, her eyes wide.
What I saw made my knees go weak.
I heard the front door swing open.
***
Rowan was gripping the bedframe, sweat dripping down his face, arms trembling. His new prosthetic legs, sleek but foreign, were strapped on, his body hunched between bed and dresser.
His right hand was scraped raw. He looked up, startled and caught.
“I told you not to come in,” he managed, voice cracking.
Mom gasped. “Oh, sweetheart…”
His arm buckled.
Before I could reach him, his body dropped hard against the floor with a sickening thud.
“I told you not to come in.”
“Rowan —”
For a second, he didn’t move.
