“What are you going on about, hon?” I would ask.
“Nothing, Dad. Just thinking out loud.”
Money has always been tight, tighter than I will ever let Ashley know. We spent everything we had trying to keep Hannah here with us.
“What are you going on about, hon?”
She is all about what she can give.
So when Easter rolled around, Ashley came home from school, dropped her backpack by the door, and said, “Dad, I want to do something for the homeless shelter. I have been saving my allowance and birthday money. I want to bake 300 cookies for Easter.”
I tried to keep my voice in check. “Three hundred? Baby, that is a lot. Are you sure?”
She nodded, ponytail swinging, stubborn in the same way her mom was. “For the homeless,” she said. “Like Mom used to be.”
That stopped me.
“Dad, I want to do something for the homeless shelter.”
I set down my coffee, watching her finger the edge of Hannah’s old recipe book, which she had fished from the top shelf. “Your mom would have loved that,” I said. “She always said the smallest acts of kindness matter the most.”
Ashley looked up at me, all big eyes and silent determination. “She always said you never know what someone’s been through until you sit with them. Let’s sit with them, Dad.”
I saw Hannah in her then. The same softness. The same grit.
“Let’s sit with them, Dad.”
***
Ashley slammed the flour bag on the counter, a puff of white dust clouding up and making her sneeze.
“Bless you, Chef,” I said, grinning as I cracked eggs into a bowl.
My daughter smiled back, cheeks smudged with flour. “Dad, can you hand me the sugar? Not that one, the big bag. Mom always used the big bag for Easter cookies.”
I slid it across, pretending to struggle. “You sure you do not want a break, bug? Three hundred cookies is a lot.”
She shook her head, determined. “No breaks. We promised the shelter.” She fished out her mom’s old heart-shaped cookie cutter, holding it up for me to see. “Remember this?”
“Bless you, Chef.”
“Like it was yesterday, baby.” My throat tightened. “Your mom always let you do the first batch.”
Ashley pressed the cutter into the dough, twisting her wrist just so. “She said if you press hard and twist, they do not crack at the edges.”
***
Ashley sprinkled flour everywhere, her nose wrinkling as she lined up cookies for the next tray.
“Dad,” she said suddenly. “Why did Mom start going to the shelter for the big holidays? Did she tell you?”
I glanced over, surprised. “Yeah. She told me once. Your grandparents, Mom’s parents, they did not like that she was having you. She was only nineteen at the time. And they kicked her out because they were ashamed.”
“Why did Mom start going to the shelter for the big holidays?”
My daughter stopped, heart-shaped cutter poised above the dough. “That is why she had nothing when you met her?”
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