An officer knelt near the backpack. “Any custody issues? Anyone who might take her?” he asked. “She’s four,” I snapped. “Her biggest problem is nap time.”
There were no cameras back then, no clear footage to rewind. Dogs traced the edge of the trees; volunteers searched block after block. Every passing siren jolted my heart, and every silent hour dragged it down.
Detectives sat at our dining table and asked questions that cut deep. “Anyone close to the family?” one asked, pen ready. Frank kept his hands clasped tight, knuckles drained of color. “I dropped her off,” he murmured. “She was smiling.”
The detective lowered his tone. “Sometimes it’s someone you know.” Frank flinched—barely—but I noticed. After they left, I asked, “What was that?” Frank stared at the floor. “Because I failed her,” he said. “That’s all.”
Three months later, Frank collapsed in our kitchen. He had been repairing the cabinet hinge Catherine used to swing from and asked me to pass the screwdriver. His grip loosened, his knees struck the tile, and the noise split through me.
“Frank! Look at me!” I screamed, slapping his face, begging his eyes to lock onto mine. In the ER, a doctor said, “Stress cardiomyopathy,” as casually as a forecast. A nurse murmured, “Broken heart syndrome,” and I despised her for giving it a gentle name.
At the funeral, people told me, “You’re so strong,” and I nodded on reflex. Later, alone in the car, I pounded the steering wheel until my wrists throbbed. I had buried my husband while my daughter was still missing, and my body didn’t know which grief to hold first.
Time moved forward anyway—steady and indifferent. I worked, paid bills, smiled at strangers, then wept under the shower where the water concealed it. Every year on Catherine’s birthday, I bought a pink-frosted cupcake and lit a single candle upstairs.
