“You stayed with me.”
“You shouldn’t have driven,” she then said. “I could feel myself slipping… but I could still see you, Lily. I saw you trying to lift me, trying to get me into the car… and then driving, all by yourself.”
“I know, Grandma,” Lily whispered.
Kathy turned toward me. “But if she hadn’t…” She couldn’t finish. She didn’t have to. “I was wrong,” she said finally. “About you. About how you raised her.” Kathy looked at Lily, then back at me. “You didn’t raise her wrong, Maddie. You raised her to be brave.”
That one went straight through me. I sat on the other side of the bed and smiled through my tears. “Well, she definitely didn’t get the driving part from me.”
To my surprise, Kathy let out the faintest laugh, then winced.
“You didn’t raise her wrong, Maddie. You raised her to be brave.”
Lily looked between us, still pale, still so determined. I reached over and squeezed her shoulder.
Kathy closed her eyes and whispered, “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Grandma.”
“Yes,” Kathy replied, opening her eyes. “I do.”
A nurse finally told Lily that Kathy needed rest. My daughter curled up sideways in the chair by her grandma’s bed, still holding Kathy’s hand until sleep dragged her under. I tucked the hospital blanket around her legs and stood watching her.
Kathy’s voice came softly. “She gets that from Lewis, too. The heart first.”
“Yeah,” I said. “He did.”
“She gets that from Lewis, too. The heart first.”
Kathy watched Lily’s sleeping face. “I thought discipline was the thing that would protect her. Now I think maybe love taught her faster.”
That made me smile and tear up at the same time.
***
When the sun came up, its light slid across Lily’s face and caught the little freckle near her eyebrow that Lewis used to kiss every morning. I brushed her hair back and thought about all the times I’d doubted myself.
When Lily woke and blinked up at me, I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
“Are you still mad at me?” she whispered.
I smiled through the ache in my chest.
“No, baby. I’m just very, very proud of you.”
I thought my daughter needed someone stricter. I didn’t realize she already knew exactly what to do when it mattered.
“I thought discipline was the thing that would protect her.”
